“It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart” (Philippians 1:7 NIV).
I’ve discovered that if people are not on my heart, they’re on my nerves. If you don’t have your kids in your heart, they get on your nerves. If you don’t have your spouse in your heart, guess who gets on your nerves?
The reason so many marriages struggle is that mates are reacting to each other from their mind rather than their heart. When your wife says, “I feel depressed,” listen to her; it’s legitimate. When your husband says, “I don’t feel this is the right thing to do; we ought to do it this other way,” listen to him.
Heart love begins with understanding why someone feels the way they do. Ask questions and then listen. Hear the hurt, look for the problems, know what makes your mate tick. You need to understand the moods of the people closest to you, why they act the way they do. If you care, you’ll be aware.
How do you love people that you find unlovable, even when you do understand them and their moods? “God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus”(Philippians 1:8 NIV). In Greek, the word affection is the word for intestines. In Greek society, the Greeks thought that the seat of the emotions was in your stomach, your liver, your internal organs.
Paul was saying, “I’ve got a gut feeling of love for you.” That is not a natural kind of love. It is a supernatural kind of love. That’s why Paul said it’s not from himself, but it’s the affection of Christ Jesus. Human love wears out and dries up and dies on the vine. The only kind of love that lasts in spite of heartache and difficulty in tough circumstances is God’s love—the affection of Jesus Christ.
So how do you get this kind of gut love? “God has poured out his love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God’s gift to us” (Romans 5:5 GNT). God’s love is not something you work up. It is something that is poured into you by the Holy Spirit as you let him live in you day by day.
“I will make you happy”
There are three levels of love:
I desire you, so I love you.
I need you, so I love you.
you need me, so I love you.
When we try to imitate Jesus, our first priority has to be in making our partner happy. The best way to do this is to decide to serve your husband/wife.
Especially for men: In his letters, Paul challenges us men to love our wives as Christ loved his disciples. In the end, he paid for his love for them with death. His love knew no boundaries. There is nothing more to say. Only to serve.
As a symbol of your desire to serve each other, wash each other’s feet. Thank Jesus for his immeasurable love and ask him for his love for your partner to become visible through you.